Season Three: Liz's Monologue

(Lights rise to reveal Liz, sitting in a chair with a spotlight on her. She indignantly looks up)


Liz


I'm pretty sure it was asking for it. It was just standing there, white and smug looking. And in these days, it's given me nothing. No acceptance letters to community college, no unemployment checks, not even a nice, random card in the mail from my senile grandmother who used to think every week was my birthday! Man, those were some sweet times....no, all I get from that self righteous piece of crap is credit card offers. It KNOWS I can't even afford to get a new credit card, I know it knows, because it keeps sending me statements from my recent credit cards. I don't even use them anymore, but I still have to pay them off. I forgot what I even purchased on my old American Express, but they sure as heck didn't! And you know what was even worse? The anticipation. The hope. The optimistic, delusional feeling that THIS day might be it. You might get something good in the mail. It's so pathetic, how you walk out of your house with all the grace of Charlie Brown. You dance back and forth between clarity and ambiguity with each step you take. Something's there. Nothing's coming. Something is going to be there. It was never there. It's maddening because no matter what, it's still a mailbox. It's still fulfilling it's purpose in life. It's still doing better than you! So yeah, I ran over that piece of shit with my car! I felt good about it! I don't care if you think I was going too fast or if I was over the (overly dramatic finger quotes) "legal limit", I took one for the team here! And there is no "mail" in team!