July 8th: Episode "Alice's and Dorothy'sJourney": For Alice, by Rose:

Hello. This is a collaboration piece between myself, an AMAZING ACTRESSS Alison Roseburg, and her ideas about my cat, Alice. We then threw in a sassy Dorothy role while we were at it.


Enjoy.


(Lights up. Alice is in a very slutty light blue dress and torn apron. She is either blonde or is holding a disheveled blonde wig.


Black Setting. White Spotlight. Almost in the shape of...)


(She speaks to them as if it is a Prologue to Romeo and Juliet)

Alice

Hello. My name is Alice. I have to say that because I forgot who I was the other day. I fell in a hole. Yeah. I'm sorry. I changed when I fell in that hole. But I'm fine. I swear. Oh, wait. I forgot. You are not allowed to swear or recite bad poetry or pick flowers where I...am...now living. Did I live someplace else? I think I did actually live there because I know that you can't swear up here. It's opposite land up here! It's scary. I'm terrified and feel like I might die tonight!


Yeah. I should go. I wanna run to the middle of my fears. It was just like a pill. It made me worse though. Normally, whenever I try to be all that I can be, it makes me better. After I got out of this dirty knarled tree hole, I wanted to run as fast as I could, I swear. Oh shit! I forgot you're not supposed to swear out of the rabbbit hole. Again. I'm always opening my mouth and getting into trouble. Shut up Alice, just shut up!

I'm sorry. Maybe I am crazy. Alice, what do they say? Alice, you've changed when you walk down the ... *snaps her finger* ahh....I know this..don't tell me. Don't speak. Please stop explaining. I know this, it's a called a Street!


They say you changed Alice. What happenend.

And I say, I know. I'm sorry. I'm fine. I feel like I have to have a crisis to get people to believe that I'm fine.

But then they say. Alice, you've changed. What happened.

So I say again: I know! I'm sorry! I'm fine.

Mother looked at me.

Alice. Look at your clothes!

You've changed. What happened?

Father came out of the study to peer over his pipe and muttered:

Alice, you've changed; what happened.

And I say I know Father. I'm sorry. I'm sorry daddy. Daddy I'm so sorry. I'm fine. I'm fine.

And I ran away from the house because I couldn't understand anyone but the servants and they don't speak English! They are fluent in French and Italian!! I only know a few words from falling in a hole for a year; or was it 10 minutes?

But they taught me things! I learned so much. Crazy accents and odd fashion and THE CURSING! Oh I learned some fantastic swear words: Stick a too Zorro. I guess it means something bad; I screamed it down in the Rabbit Hole and a bunch of evil pelicans laughed at me and turned into innocent oysters.

And I kept running, as fast as I could. I couldn't stand this life here, there was too much support and love and no drugged oysters laughing the entire night away... I went on a Journey: I was a small town girl. I lived and still do live in a very lonely world. I took a midnight stroll and fell somewhere. It was everywhere.

And I met a boy, and fell in love. Born and raised in South Wonderland. He took a midnight stroll. I think I fell on his face. Nothing broke. All the kings horses and all of his men helped him out. I became a warrior princess there. It's not Jabberwocky, I swear! I think the monster followed me up here. I am so paranoid he didn't die. I wanted to slay him until there was nothing left; But I think that was just the Wonderland talking.

I didn't move from the spot on the ground; my friends caught up with me as soon as I got back from the Rabbit Hole. One by one they each took me aside and said:

Alice. You have changed. What happened. AND I SAID THIS:

Don't call my name. My name isn't Alice. Not Anymore. It's Alejandra. It's Alicia, It's Alexandra. Alice. Is that my name? I can't remember...

Alice! You have changed, what happened? I know, I 'm sorry I 'm fine, I'm fine, I know, I'm sorry, I'm fine, I'm fine. I didn't know whether to laugh at them or cry with them.

I think people who haven't fallen in a hole don't understand what it's like once you are IN that place. I'm in the hole, I could say to my father, and my mother, and all two friends that I have left, because no one wants to even look at me. Once I climbed out, no one wanted . No one. Anyway, I could look at the four people who could still look at me and say "I fell in!" and it was like I was speaking French. It was like I was too dirty to look at, and too soiled to be understood. But I'm not dirt under your feet. I'm a poor girl who climbed out of a giant vortex. No one seems to have been there before.

I have a big mouth. I should never have said anything about the Rabbit Hole. I ate the wrong pill and got me and my big mouth into trouble.

I'm Alice. I've changed. I'm sorry. But I am fucking fine.




Dorothy


(Sings last part of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow)


Somewhere, over the rainbow

Way up high

Birds cry over that rainbow

Why then can't I just fly?



If happy little scarecrows sigh
on a rainbow
Why
Oh
Why
Can't
I?


(BLACK AND WHITE MAKE GRAY. DOROTHY IS IN A GRAY CHECKERED DRESS. IT'S BLOODY AND TORN. SMUDGED EYE MAKEUP LIKE SHE SPENT THE NIGHT IN JAIL)

Don't do you do it. Don't cry. Big city girls don't cry. The path I walked I had to go alone; I didn't get any "baby steps" along the way. They were full grown steps on that golden brick facade. Road is not what I would have named it. But it wasn't my world. I just dropped in.

But I loved it. I wanna go back! How can you return to a city when you have no map?
And you never had one. At all. And short little freaky people would sing a long with your GPS device and you really just wanted to take some cute shoes and leave; but no, no, no, they have to have a flippin' ceremony over every little thing. They didn't even like that witch; I wouldn't give a mutt I liked to that woman. Much less hold a procession for her. Not even if she was in Kansas. There are some things small farm folk just do not do!

Item 1: You must be kind to your fellow travelers. Glinda was kind, but what a tyrant. She was kind but extremely firm.

Item 2: Play games, all sorts. I played games, I played tons, I played "Ring Around the Golden Road of Confusion!' , "Cat on a Hot Tin Man's Roof " and "Are You Smarter than a Cowardly Lion?" THAT was a most excellent game. I won a puppy!

Item 3: Rosie Cheeks. Well, obviously. You had to be cute to survive. Perfect brown curls. You had to have the same color eyes to match your gown. That's how they play the day away in the merry yet old Land of Oz. Rub, dub, scrub, pat, fat, he looked so good when he got new straw.

I guess I miss him most of all. When we hugged goodbye, and I thought I would never see him again, I could have deflated, like a hot air balloon. I did. I waited. I embraced, I cried, I laughed at all the Professor's jokes; the entire time I thought I can't hug him goodbye. I can't say goodbye. I can't ANYTHING goodbye. Not with him. I stood there and felt like the Tin Man's heart had been wrenched from MY chest.

But I followed my head. I said, in my head, I love you. He said in my head, if only I had...and I said, in my head, yes? But then I remembered. I knew. He did say he loved me. He told me of a place. The other day, we came across a very angry tree with him, but before that he looked at me and said Is this the place that I've been dreaming of? If you were with me, I would wall away the hours; we'd talk to nice trees and flowers, even consult with the wheat grain. And I wouldn't be confused, I'd keep up with you, physically and intellectually. Oh. If I only had...

Had what I said?

More time.

SHE SINGS AS IF HER HEART WILL BURST BUT SHE SINGS SOFTLY:

If happy little scarecrows cry
over rainbows
Why oh why no more time?

*LIGHTS OFF