SEASON TWO FINALE

HEY Y'ALL. ROSE RUSSO HERE. LISTEN UP.

SEASON TWO IS DONE.

I WANT TO DEDICATE THIS SEASON TO MY AUNT ROSE RUSSO. THANK YOU.

SEASON THREE COMING....

THE DVDS ARE FREE.

HERE'S THE FINALE:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKQbcJyVKR0

Witch.

Oh, we're doing this now? You've decided that it's me, have you? Well, I should just hang up my hat and start cackling with glee, now shouldn't I? I am so flattered! How filled with love and hope I am right now. Oh, my darling, I want you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby.

Just in case your people can't translate sarcasm, I am not serious here. Do you even know me? Do you know what I am, where I come from, or am I just a heart beating in a skirt to you? Is that all that matters...yes...yes I think it is. I have an answer for your question. Yes. I do. But you have to ask me. Say my name.

Nope. You failed. You don't even know my real name. You probably were ready to call me a witch. Well, I admit that in the past I was a nasty...they weren't kidding when they called me a witch, I know, but I do have a name and you're already screwing it up.

Don't call me that name now. I don't want to hear you say it to me. Ever. And what is THAT?!
That better be something else in a velvet box. Stop please just let me go. I've been broken by love, my lovers are like my fathers. Or I just have daddy issues. Yes, of course, of course I love you, only you, no one else, it's always been you, even when you tell me I talk too fast and too much. I love you. There. I love you. I really do love you!! I "Love Is All You Need" love you, I love you like a hot Mexican sunset. But it's a bucket of water to me. It's death, and....
I'm going crazy. I'm out of my mind with you on bended knee. I don't want to touch it, I don't want to be near it or watch it sparkle in the flames of our fireplace. Were do you think we're gonna live, huh? Some palace with a view of the emeralds?

It's like you've got nothing in between your ears. Seriously. I can see you a nodding and agreeing but it's a going one ear and out the other. What is wrong with you? Why did you fail the easiest test in the world? All you had to do was call my name out from your dusty lips...

Or is there someone else's name choking your tongue, eclipsing your lips, breathing through your teeth?

I thought so. I knew so. That's it. That IS the straw that's breaking my back. I knew you weren't over her.

Don't act stupid.

What name did you say last night?
You heard me.
What was her name?
You know what I'm saying.
That's right.
I KNEW IT.

Your love isn't here, and neither is mine. I just want someone who isn't green with jealousy, someone who doesn't shriek when you enter the shower....why are you always taking showers? It's like your scarred from a PAST FLAME! No, you don't even get to call me by my name. It's not even my name! How dare you make me into someone I don't wanna be!

Get off your knees.

Stop saying Marry me

I'm not a WITCH, I'm not crazy, I'm not cackling here, I'm telling you the truth! I'm not what you want me to be, I used to be a sweet, farm girl with pigtails once upon a time, until YOU made me into THIS. You made me into a WITCH and now you want to change me again into...

....a.....

....cowardly............



..............Witch............................................



........................With no heart...................................................................................(lights out)


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The Little Vampire


(Lights up. We are on an isolated beach. The Sea Witch is about to hear a story from Ariel, a human princess)


Hey. I know it's been a long time, and I know we didn't exactly part on the best of terms. Okay, yes, an attempt on your life was taken, but you know, that wasn't me, that was my soon to be ex-husband. Oh, don't look so shocked, you must have heard that Eric and I were separating. How was I to know that 50% of marriages in the 80's end in divorce? But I have a request.

I don't want to be a human anymore, and I can't go back to being a mermaid. I wanna be a vampire.

Vampires are so popular now with humans. They are either reading about them or watching them on some kind of screen. They are stronger, they are powerful, and they can kill a human with a flash of their teeth. Vampires don't have to go to family functions if they don't want to, or cook dinner for anyone, or anything they aren't comfortable with. I want my immortality back. I want to really live this time.

I am ready to pay with whatever you need. I do not mind being silent for a few days. It will be worth it. I will be worth it.