Season 3: Dorothy's First Group

(We are in a small, brightly lit room. Chairs and patients sit in a small circle, with a Guard standing near the door. He opens it and Alice, walks in. Everyone stares at her. She stares back. Nurse Mona smiles and makes encouraging gestures for her to sit down. Alice sits, but everyone still stares at her)

Nurse Mona
Okay, now that we are all here--

Rina
We aren’t all here. Paul’s in the bathroom, puking again.

Nurse
Thank you for being so informative Rina, but let’s concentrate on who IS in the room, and who wants to talk about current events. Now I have some printouts here-

Crystal
I have MORE printouts than her. She doesn’t even have the right ones.

Afrika
Yeah, where’d you get the printouts? We aint allowed to even be in the office unless it’s with a counselor.

Rina
She IS a counselor, stupido. Did the acid pour into your brain as well as your face?

Afrika
Yo, don't talk to me like that!

Rina
I'll talk the way I wanna.

Khan
Yeah, hot mama, you'll talk the way I wanna.

Karen
I would like to hear about the current events, please?

Nurse Mona
I like the way Karen asked politely for the printouts. Okay, so the current events are things that are going on in the world that we should be aware of. I'll just pass these print outs around

Crystal
I already have them. I got them from my vagina

Rina
That’s not true! That’s not even true!

Crystal
They ARE from my vagina, and they are more TRUE than ANYTHING

Ximena
Shut it, both of you. Who is she?

Nurse Mona
Everyone, this is Alice. She just transferred up here today, so let’s make her feel welcome now, okay?

Crystal
She doesn’t have printouts in her vagina.

Nurse Mona
No, that’s correct Crystal, but maybe she would like to talk about something current she experienced before she got here. Alice?

Alice looks around at the group. Khan leans forward and licks his lips very slowly. Her eyes widen. He blows a kiss at her from across the room.

Alice
Um, that guy is blowing kisses at me.

Crystal
No! He doesn't care at all about you. He was fucking me a few minutes ago. We're going to get married, he told me, and you are not invited to the wedding.

Nurse Mona
Now, this is not something that relates to Current Events.

Crystal
She doesn't know anything because I just gave birth to her. She came out of my vagina and there are crystals all over her.

Nurse April
Lunch! Lunch time!

Nurse Mona
Okay, I guess that's all we can do for now for Current Events. Everyone please take a print out and next time we'll discuss it, okay?

They all file out for Lunch.....