New York Installment 5: What Choo Tawking Boat?

...Previously, on NYI, our protagonist learned how to use her new voice. But whether or not anyone can understand her is anyone's guess...

*(Bloggers Note: The following clip is what would happen if my blogs were in video format)




When in New York, it's important to learn the language. True, these people are speaking English, the same language you have been raised in, but that doesn't mean you can communicate with them. So often you'll pass by three groups of people and they'll all have different accents or languages. Of course, you can't speak any of the languages they are conversing in, but they are all fluent in English. I speak English and American, with a pretty thick western accent.
I used to not have an accent. I used to think living in the Pacific Northwest officially voided any accent possibility. I used to complain how boring we all sounded. No longer. I now am the bearer of a very "questionable" accent, an accent aptly named so because everything I say turns into a question. "Where are you living?" someone might ask me. "Middle Village?" I'll say, as doubt spreads across his/her face. "It's past Jackson Heights? And south of Astoria? No?" Facing a small talk dead end, the stranger will then ask where I’m from. This results in no statements either. "Wenatchee, Washington? Washington State? Okay, and it's east of Seattle? You know Seattle?" Now I fear my voice will forever go up an octave at the ends of my sentences. Sometimes it's just not meant to be that two people from different lands will understand each other. So often I'll engage in conversations with people on the bus or the subway, and I'll walk away knowing that what I was trying to explain didn't even register in that German man's mind, but you could tell he was just a good soul.
But it's not all just conversing. So much of New York is non verbal, and much is never said. As a 26 year old, you have to really watch the eye contact, especially walking in West Village. I don't know if it's testosterone from the nearby basketball courts or the hip hop record stores, but the boys are like puppies: looking longer than 1.5 nanoseconds is basically a marriage proposal to them. I like to take the lead from what the girls do here: pretend you're involved with something very important on your phone, while standing near a group of other girls or older ladies. You have to pretend irritated and bored here; it's the best way to look cool and unapproachable. And that's basically the overall message that New York conveys: Just play it cool boy...
Of course, there are times when you have to declare more than just your aloofness with your body language. Sometimes you have to make your presence known. In a city like New York, it’s easy to be undetected. Large groups stroll along like a herd of hippos during rush hour, and sometimes you can’t just maneuver quietly around or through them. This is the moment where you square your hips, roll your shoulders back, and glare at an invisible person across the street. When people see you walking this way, they will get out of your path. If I bump into someone my foreign dialect always placates them. "I'm sorry?" And through this method of self teaching I eventually started to talk the talk and walk the walk....