Season Two, Ep. 4 "The Rookie"

  Hello!  "Rose Russo" here.  I have a project by an extremely talented actress/writer, Kate B.  Feedback is welcome!

 The Rookie

By Kate B.

Sarah- Hey, Doc.  Wait.  Who are you?  You a new Doc?  Don’t think I’ve seen you around here.

Doc- Uh, no.  Sarah, you don’t recognize me?

Sarah- No, but then my memory isn’t always solid.  Kind of swiss cheesy.  So I know you?

Doc- Yeah. Uh-

Sarah- How long have I been  seeing you?  You’re not my primary.  That’s Stevens.  Unless you are Stevens and I’ve just made you a lot cuter in my brain in order to stand you, or Stevens has always looked like you and I’ve made him bald and overweight in my head for some reason.  I don’t think I’m that delusional.

Doc- No, I’m not Stevens.

Sarah- Well good.  I would have hated to say that to his face.  

Doc- Yeah?

Sarah- No, not really.  I tell him all the time.  I’m rather up front.  So what are you here to talk to me about?

Doc- You.

Sarah- Ah.  Come on Doc.  Gonna have to do better than that.  I know what you’re here about.

Doc- Yeah?

Sarah- Oh yeah.

Doc- What?

Sarah- Zack. He’s all anyone wants to talk about.

Doc- Is he?

Sarah- That’s gonna get old fast, Doc.  Every once in a while one of your sentences should be a sentence and not a question.  Just to make sure you’re a person and not a parrot.
 
Doc- Well.  I am certainly not a parrot, though I do have a tendency to be colorful.

Sarah- Nice.  Green.  Parrots are green.  Does that mean you’re new?  They send in the rookie to chat with the crazy girl to cut his teeth?

Doc- I have all my teeth, thank you.  And I think it was your sister that use to bite you, never a doctor.

Sarah- No, you’re right.  The only harm a physician has done me has been to be insufferably boring.  If you want to talk about me, you want to talk about Zack.  Agreed?

Doc- Agreed.

Sarah- How read up on me, are you?  Hm?  What do you know?

Doc- I know you’re incredibly smart.

Sarah- Huh.

Doc- I know you were abandoned by your father, aggressively attacked by your sister to the point of hospitalization on at least three occasions, and that your mother was an alcoholic and severe manic depressive that refused any real medication.

Sarah- Ahah.  Nowadays they call them bipolar.  My grandmother called her sad.  

Doc- And you call her a moron.

Sarah- Moron mom.  Sounds funny, doesn’t it.

Doc- Nice assonance, yes.

Sarah- Don’t try to butter me up wit’ all dem ten cent words, Doc.

Doc- I like that word a lot, too.

Sarah- It’s a waste of fucking time, that word.  A word describing words, pretty fucking useless.  If you ask me.

Doc- I didn’t.  I didn’t ask you.

Sarah- Good.  Nice.  How’s it going?

Doc- Our chat?  I think we’re still sizing each other up.  How am I doing?

Sarah- You’re passing.

Doc- Good. I’d hate to disappoint you.

Sarah- You could never disappoint me.  (pause) Cute as you are, and you know what an assonance is?  How am I?

Doc- How are you doing?

Sarah- That’s not what I asked.

Doc- How are you?

Sarah- Yeah.  I want to see if you can guess.

Doc- I would guess you’re very sad.

Sarah- Ern!! (loud noise indicating he’s wrong)

Doc- Okay.  Sad would be the wrong word.  Oppressively alone.

Sarah- Nice.  What do you want to know, rookie?

Doc- I want to know.  I want to know your favorite memory.

Sarah- Nice.  Easy.  Zack.

Doc- Anything specific?

Sarah- The color of his hair.  The bridge of his nose.  His two front teeth.  His smell.

Doc- What color were his eyes?

Sarah- Blue.  Brown.  Grey.

Doc- You don’t know?

Sarah- I know.  They were the same as yours.  Or maybe I’m just saying that cause you’re here.

Doc- You think so?

Sarah- What’s that- Projection.  I don’t want to really think about him, so I’m filling in bits of you.  You’re easier to take.

Doc- Why?

Sarah- Cause you’re here.  And he’s not.

Doc- Where is he?

Sarah- Dead.

Doc- How’d he die?

Sarah- Come on, Doc.  Questions, questions.  Don’t be green.

Doc- Sorry.  I just.  You know.  Nervous.

Sarah- Why nervous, kid?

Doc- Cause you called me cute.  Always flusters me.

Sarah- Ah.  That’s sweet. Doesn’t your girlfriend tell you you’re attractive.  If she doesn’t, you need a new one.  I’d make a pass, but, you know…

Doc- Well, I haven’t talked to her in a while.  Work.  It’s a killer.

Sarah- Oh, no, greenhorn.  You can’t let work get in your way of love.  You love her?

Doc- Tremendously.

Sarah- I believe you.  

Doc- Good, cause it’s true.

Sarah- Zack and I had that problem, almost.  When I was a cellist for the symphony.  I was always practicing and he got really jealous, and the pads of my fingers would get really sore, so there were certain things I couldn’t do-

Doc- What symphony?

Sarah- Goodness, Doc.  You didn’t read that in my report.  I’m a real workaholic.  I’ve been a cellist, composer, novelist, playwright, history teacher, and a nurse.

Doc- Wow.  Picked that up from your mom, didn’t you?

Sarah- The story telling?  Yeah.  I’m not a compulsive liar though, cause I actually believe what I’m saying.  I have to break down things to make sure they’re true or not.   That’s schizophrenia, for you.  But I know I was never a cellist.  I just wanted you to feel like my advice was valid.

Doc- I think you’re very valid.

Sarah- Aww, shucks, Doc.

Doc- Can I ask you a question?

Sarah- Shoot.

Doc- How do you think Zack died?

Sarah- How do I think?  Don’t be condescending.  Like, what.  He never existed?  He was real, Doc.  Know how I know?

Doc- How?

Sarah- He was the first person I ever had really good sex with.  I mean, really good.  And if he didn’t exist, then I was just fooling around with myself, and well, I don’t like myself that much.

Doc- Ah. Makes sense.

Sarah- That’s the danger.

Doc- How do you know Zack is dead?

Sarah- That’s the only possible explanation for him not being with me.  We were inseparable.

Doc- Do you know how he died?

Sarah- I killed him.  I’m sure this is all in my report.

Doc- How did you kill him?

Sarah- Pills. Water.

Doc- Why?

Sarah- Well, I guess I’ve had a long complicated relationship with pills, what with my mother’s distrust of them.  Her rants and raves and tornadoes of destruction.  And water? That’s how you make them go down, right?  You don’t want that gross taste in your mouth.

Doc- Your sister almost drowned you once, didn’t she?

Sarah- Did, Doc.  Did.  They had to perform CPR.  Cracked my sternum.  Hurt a lot. But it was necessary.  I was eight.

Doc-  Why did you kill him?

Sarah- Bugs.  To get rid of the bugs.

Doc- The pills were to get rid of the bugs?

Sarah- Yeah.  They fix a lot.

Doc- You don’t take them.

Sarah- Can’t.  Family tradition.

Doc- But you made him.

Sarah- I was always the dominant personality. You see, Zack was highly suggestible.  You tell him something enough, and he’d believe it, eventually.

Doc- Anyone?

Sarah- Mostly.  But me especially.  I could get him to think anything.

Doc- I wouldn’t think if you loved him, you would do anything mean.

Sarah- Not intentionally.  But Doc.  Sometimes I really think things.

Doc- Like bugs.

Sarah- I thought he had bugs.  I felt them on my skin.  And we’re inseparable.

Doc- So, if you had them.  He did.

Sarah- Right.

Doc- So you gave him the pills to get rid of the bugs.

Sarah- Right. (Sarah launches herself on top of a chair and grabs Doc.  She puts one hand over his mouth) And I held him just like this, Doc.  So he couldn’t spit them out.  He was going to take them.  He wasn’t going to have was I had.  I wasn’t going to give him bugs.  He was too good for this.  But he didn’t fight back.  He just laid there.  He trusted me.  And he wasn’t swallowing.  He was remembering all the stupid rants and raves and tornadoes of destruction because of the pills-

Doc- Sarah, wait-

Sarah- So I got water, and I poured it down his throat.  He choked on it.  So much water.  More and more.  Too much for his mouth.  I couldn’t hear him anymore, but I wasn’t sure he’d swallowed them, so, more pills.  I let go of him.  He didn’t move.  He’s dead, Doc.  I killed him.  If I didn’t drowned him, the pills really were dirty like mom always said, or there were bugs.  But I’m smart enough to figure it was probably me.  (she lets him go)

Doc- Sounds like a wimp.

Sarah- Just trusting.

Doc- He laid there while you drowned him.  Did you bring a hose over?  You said more and more water.  Did you prepare ahead of time? Did you tell him to hold still while you continued to drown  him?  Was he stupid?

Sarah- No.  He was brilliant.  Incredibly smart.  It follows our disorder.

Doc- Our disorder. So what.  How’d you do it?

Sarah- Come on, Doc.  Too many questions.

Doc-  Tell me, Sarah.  He had to have been tied up.  Or someone else helped you.  Or he was a bumbling weak idiot that only liked you cause you told him what to do.

Sarah- He said he liked me cause I was smart.  And funny.  He said I was sweet.

Doc- Sweet people don’t drown other people, Sarah.

Sarah- They do to save them.

Doc- Oh I understand. You got tired of having this little simp follow you around.  How unattractive was he, huh?  How bad in bed?  Was the first to get it up with a skitso bag like you in the room?

Sarah- Don’t provoke a violent schizophrenic, Doc.

Doc- How did you do it, Sarah?  Break it down.  Tell me.

Sarah-  I had the bottles.  He was saying he had bugs.

Doc- You said you felt them.

Sarah- I did.  We did.

Doc- Yes.  So what did you do?

Sarah- He needed to take the pills.

Doc-  What about you?  Why didn’t you take them?  Same problem, same pills.

Sarah-  I couldn’t.  I was scared.  Family tradition.

Doc-  Sarah.  Your mom wouldn’t take her pills because she was paranoid and selfish.  It made her feel good to be in that tornado.

Sarah- You’re not telling me anything I haven’t said before, Doc.  Moron, she may have been, she was still my mom.  You listen to your mother when you’re six.  Your mom probably told you to study hard, and look at you.  My mom told me that pills killed your soul and made people leave you.  I couldn’t take the damn things, until he did.

Doc- And he did.  Didn’t he.

Sarah- Yeah.  He took them.

Doc- And?

Sarah- This isn’t like Alice in Wonderland, Doc.  You don’t eat the mushroom and suddenly become thirty feet tall if you just believe.

Doc- I do know how medication works.  I meant, then what happened.  Did you take them?

Sarah- There wasn’t any water.  We’d run off away from the docs again.  But everyone knew we were okay, together.  We were so good at keeping each other together.  If anything got scary the other one was there to help break it down.  Except these bugs.  I felt them.

Doc-  You were outside?

Sarah-  Yeah?

Doc-  Then they were just bugs.

Sarah- No.  Zack, he felt them under his skin.

Doc- Cause he was having an episode.  What’s that called?

Sarah- A tactile hallucination.

Doc- Right.  You’re so good at that.

Sarah-  He needed the pills.  To calm down.

Doc-  There wasn’t any water.

Sarah-  No.  He kept gagging.  Have you seen those things?

Doc-  Yeah, they’re huge.  You had to keep his mouth shut, so he could swallow.

Sarah-  He laid down.  We tried again.  He held on to my arms so he’d keep from clawing at his arms.

Doc-  And he swallowed?

Sarah-  Yeah.

Doc-  And?

Sarah- And I told him I loved him.

Doc-  And then?

Sarah-  And then he calmed down.  His eyes kind of went funny.  And then he fell asleep.  I got the nurses.  They took him in.  I wrote him.  Told him he had to keep taking the pills.  That I was going to, too.  That he was gonna be fine.  And that he should come find me when he got out.

Doc-  Did you take them?

Sarah-  No.
            I couldn’t.
            You listen to your mother when you’re six.

Doc-  Sarah.  What color are Zack’s eyes?

Sarah-  You know?

Doc-  Know what, Sarah?

Sarah-  You’re really smart for a rookie, Doc.